There is no end to your actions. 

They will always be the same

“I’m sorry”……..

“I’ll try harder”

” I didn’t know” 

Shut the fuck up! 

Your never going to change never

So don’t be shocked or hurt when you find me in another’s arms. 

I used to look at girls and judge them for cheating 

Now I know exactly why. 

Someone else see’s what you where missing out on. 

The love, the smiles

the jokes, the flirting

He even wants to take me out.

I never have to repeat remind or chase after him. 

UGH REPEATING SUCK OVER AND OVER AND OVER

He comes to me and wants who I am. 

He goes out of his way and its your loss. 

I wont have to beg him to take me out. (lame)

Sucks for you but there is only so much that I want to go thru and now I done.

Walking away now that will be hard so I’m not sure what I’m going to do on that part. 

But what why the fuck should I care? You don’t even bate an eye. 

You always do your thing and make me remind you of your role as boyfriend. 

Most men love a horny girl, you’d rather do other things w your lame as friends. 

Ok then I’m done. Do you think I like all this shit? no I don’t 

I’m so torn bc your great and then you just end up being like those douches that we make fun of. 

Dear Abba, I have been wrong in my ways. I’ve turned from you instead of to you. I didn’t think I had the time to wait for your help. I didn’t pray about it like I should have. I didn’t plea with you. Instead I just took the cross to bear, all my anger and bitterness. I stopped fighting in your name. The reason I didn’t was my mistake. I thought you were on her side.  I thought this was all my fault. I lifted my hands in surrender.I let satan mix me up and use your words and twist them to manipulate me. I moved from house to house looking for a home on my own. Hardly asking you your thoughts and desires for me. Never thinking I was taking myself away from everything you ever thought up for me. 

Now look where I am…. a town house with my boyfriend. He’s not my husband. I always dreamed of waiting till marriage then getting to share something that was taken from me by several men in my life but something you had restored. Look at me know how far I thought I could handle my own problems and work everything out on my own. I was wrong very wrong. I’m here at my desk thinking of how sucky my life is and where it would be if I had been on my knees begging and pleading with you. Surrendering my life to the only father that will never hurt me. 

I have all these things in my head like was the boy cheating? Why was he so vegue? Why has he been lying to me about things that are minor yet important to me and my morals? Why is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with just ok with being of the world? He never used to be like that. Is he like me and drifted? Does he even realize how far away he’s moved from God? His fruits our sour to my tongue. Mine are probably just the same. Wait I know they are they same. I’ve drifted from you father so far some days it seems like you can’t find me. 

Does he realize that ladies are to be chased after. They are to be wooed and cherished. Fought for, viewed as God’s daughters. I wish he could grasp how much it hurts when he can’t/wont stop himself from looking at lustful things. Does he realize how lacking he is of the passion he once had for doing things together. Just the time we shared seemed to mean the world, now it’s something I have to drag him into. 

Does he realize he doesn’t step up to the plate like he used to. He took the backseat who knows why maybe its easier back there. I want him to know that I would love nothing more then for him and I to get back to you and back to each other. 

I wonder if he realizes how much I miss the old me. I miss her she was faithful and true. She was …. so much more then who stands before him now. I am a mere skeleton of who I used to be but then again that’s something else he seems ok with. 

Abba I wish there was some way that I could tell him all this without it coming out wrong or being misunderstood. I have tried to tell him and show him a couple times. Maybe I didn’t make sense. Maybe I talk in circles. Maybe if he reads this plea he can know that he’s reading my heart song. 

I’m so mixed up and confused this is not how I want to live. Wondering if this place we are at now is only going to get worse. Worried there will be more lies. More hurt more pain. Is this your will? Are we going to change and grow and become one with you and with each other? This last line is my prayer. I want us to become awesome couple and to  grow and be molded by your word. I want us to stay together. 

If you keep passing me by one day I wont be there to pass by 

she’s so beautiful

ieatemokids:

reblogging this for everyone to see even though I’m not a girl, people are disgusting omfg.

(via minda-q-deactivated20130215)

Mr. know it all 

well you think you know it all

but you don’t know a thing at all ain’t it

Ain’t it something y’all

when someone tells you something about you

think that they know you more than you do

so you take it down, another pill to swallow

Mr. bring me down

well you like to bring me down. don’t you

but I anin’t laying down

baby I ain’t going down

can’t nobody tell me how it’s gonna be

nobody’s going to make a fool out of me

baby you should know that I lead not follow

Oh you think that you know me, know me

that’s why I’m leaving you lonely,loney

cause baby you don’t know a thing about me

you ain’t got the right to tell me

acting you own me lately

yeah baby you don’t know a thing about me

Mr play your games

only got yourself to blame

when you want me back again

but I ain’t falling back again

cause I’m living my truth without your lies

let’s be clear baby, this is goodbye

I ain’t comin back tomorrow

Oh you think that you know me, know me

that’s why I’m leaving you lonely, lonely

cause baby you don’t know a thing about me

you don’t know a thing about me

You ain’t got the right to tell me 

when and where to go,no right to tell me

acting like you own me lately

yeah baby you don’t know a thing about me

you dont know a thing about me

so you go the world at your feet

and you know everything about everything

but you don’t

you still think Im coming back but baby you’ll see

you don’t know a thing about me

keep pushing

if you keep pushing my buttons , you’ll see what happens

I’m on the verge of cracking

I’m a broken women whose walking this road called life

keep pushing

and you’ll find out i have more to me then what you’ve seen

keep pushing and I will fall apart

but I’ll grow 

keep pushing and I’ll have another notch on my fragile heart

I’m not as tough as I sound

but I’m not as nice as I always seem to be

keep pushing

just keep pushing me

and you’ll see what you never should have opened

I’ll cry now and make you think you’ve won

But really I’ll come back w a vengeance 

so honey please

keep pushing

it’s be so long since I let the beast out 

:)

Fosters Home of Imaginary Friends :)

(via villenoire)

Keeping up with you could be my worst mistake I could ever make. 

You see my darling I’ve been competing for your attention when in reality it should be the other way around. 

I’ve read these fairytales as a young girl. Ones about these princesses and their princes. 

They always came to the rescue for them and lived happily ever after. 

Getting older I knew they weren’t true. But then I look around me and there are other stories out there. 

Of men who love their women and women who respect there man. 

These guys love their ladies so much they work out the kinks and try their hardest to learn and change some parts of them that they got used to do as bachelors. 

They worked hard to chase after their love, and made sure she knew she was more important then other things that they enjoyed. 

That’s what I want. Every women should want that,but most settle because they’d rather have a sometimes important role in a relationship then being single and alone. 

Not this woman. 

This women has been settling for to long. I’ve been settling with actions, thoughts, people…that list is way to long.

I know what I want. 

I want the man that first chased after me.

Do you remember him?

I know that life has gotten to both of us. 

That the past couple of months have been rough and we’ve been forced to change plans and ideas.

I’ve tried to talk to you, and you always say the same things. 

First it’s an excuse, then finally an I’ll try and work on it.

That’s right where it ends until I bring it up again.

Do you think that I like to continually repeat myself?

No I don’t. 

I’m already really tired of talking it out w you. 

It never goes anywhere.

I have to be upset to get more time with you. 

Do you think I like that?

No I don’t.

Do you ever wonder if it hurts me deep inside that you’d rather play online for hrs then spend time w me?

I don’t ask for all day every day.

I’d just rather not beg. I shouldn’t have to do that.

You say you love me, and I know you do.

Why don’t you want to spend time w me?

I have to ask you on dates now bc when I mention it all you say is yea we’ll have to do that then never do…that is a huge problem for me.

I have to beg you to cuddle.

I want your attention. 

I don’t demand all your attention but I’d like more then I’m getting. 

When we talk it’s like your not even there 1/2 the time. 

It’s really grating on me. 

Keeping up with you is wearing me thin. 

That is the reason why I seem like a b*tch lately.

I’m trying to warn you and explain what’s going on before it ruins us. 

You say your not a romantic but you used to try and for me that was romantic. 

You used to want to do things with me all the time. 

And that made me feel important and very loved, special and wanted.

Maybe it’s bc I’m always available.

Maybe I let you have it to easy. 

I hope this gets to your heart and not your head.

I didn’t write this to hurt you, but to wake you up to the reality of my heart and thoughts.

I love you and I want you to be the one that makes me happy for the rest of my life but I can’t keep chasing you. 

Keeping up with you could be the worst mistake I could ever make. It’s not me. I hope when you read this you remember.