Adulthood is now my present town and I’m a new neighbor too. It’s not that great but it has it’s nice tendencies. I have been an official adult for almost 5 yrs ( since the age of 18). I have recently moved out and have started a new chapter in life, but I was forced to leave early when I wasn’t quiet ready for it. Didn’t have much in the saving or on a biweekly pay stub. I work and go to school and shuffle money around so that I can have enough to get from pay to pay. I like that I can now have my bf over and not have my mother down my throat. I can now drink when I wish (even tho it’s not often) I can come and go as I please and handle my own business without her nose in it. The things I miss our people caring about me in my daily life. I miss being taken care of every once in a while. I miss living some place safe, I haven’t felt that since I lived at MVNU. I miss having people around that I could trust and rely on. I keep most of my feelings in now bc sharing them with the wrong people could just make a very bad mess of things ( which I can speak of in experience)  I came them a try and realized they are nothing like the show that they put on when you are a visitor in their home.

Now everything is up in the air and I have no wise consul to look to too. They have changed their views of me ( or so it seems) ever since things had to change. I talk to my bf about this stuff but nothing is like having your best girls around you supporting you and letting you talk out all those odd, angry, sappy, mixed up girly feelings. I miss them and even tho we text and such it’s just no where near the same thing. I’m doing my best to rely on God but it’s rocky right now. They say everyone that moves out has some adjusting to do and I hope that begins to happen and I can relax a lil about my decision that I have to make now all on my own.

This will make me stronger but I wish I could ask people who have been through this and have seen their kids through it. But everyone seems so wrapped up in their own worlds that I’ll just let it out here and share some with the boy and one day (hopefully soon) I can see my girls and share with them what’s exactly going on. I like my life but right now it’s really stormy.